I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i love accidental penises.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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