He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
