I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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