Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
