whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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