I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize