You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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