He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
