the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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