I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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