So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
