you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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