i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
