The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
