uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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