You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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