Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
