Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
