Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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