What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
