i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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