The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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