your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
