32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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