I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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