Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
