dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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