I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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