I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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