Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
