That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
