I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
