32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Vodka?
Forever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
