Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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