It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
