Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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