I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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