If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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