What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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