I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
