I met the friendliest cop last night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
