If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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