Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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