Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
