First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
