Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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