the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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