I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
