And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
