I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
