I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
