Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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