Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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