Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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