why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
