Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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