I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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