By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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