I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize