It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You pole danced in your parka.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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