Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
