It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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