she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize