Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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