Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
