Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize