isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
