I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
