I puked a lego.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
